The selfish way to cook

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Due to popular demand, I have decided to reveal my time-honoured secret recipe to my Asian-Mexican veggie spicy dish, designed for people who hate tradition. Stop the press.

If you would like to learn how to cook a roast dinner, bake some cupcakes or master a risotto, please stop reading (and perhaps never return to this blog).

The following is a recipe that completely encapsulates everything about my unstructured, messy and inelegant way of cooking. It has been devised through completely ignoring recipe books, my mother, and the advice of those doomed to share a kitchen with me. It has been developed through me shoving my favourite ingredients together and seeing what the result is. I like Asian food. I like Mexican food. I like nose-running-throat-gagging spicy food. Hence the crazy Asian-Mexican veggie fusion you see below.

These ingredients are basically all optional. I haven’t included quantities as it’s all guesswork, depending on your tastes. Mix and match as you please (remember to always be selfish).


  • Tesco tin(s) of mixed vinaigrette salad beans
  • Garlic
  • Ginger
  • Lemongrass
  • Chillies
  • Jalapeño peppers
  • Potatoes / sweet potatoes / new potatoes (all optional)
  • Red onion(s)
  • Spring onions
  • Any other variant from the onion family
  • Cashews / other nuts / seeds
  • Green and red bell peppers
  • Baby corn
  • Drained tin of sweetcorn
  • Honey
  • Soya sauce
  • Sweet chilli sauce
  • Whatever the hell other sauce you have floating around your cupboards
  • Wine / vodka (if you feel like it)


  1. Get a wok.
  2. Put some garlic, chilli, ginger, lemongrass, jalapeños (i.e. all the little bits) in the hot wok with a bit of oil or that nifty 1 cal spray.
  3. Thinly slice the potatoes and add them (keep flipping though as they burn).
  4. Slice the baby corn, peppers, onions, miscellaneous veg. Add.
  5. Add the nuts.
  6. Watch it all come together in a colourful percussion of wonderfulness.
  7. Drain the tin(s) of beans and sweetcorn. Add.
  8. Chuck in loads of honey, soya sauce, Tabasco, other random sauce (I’ve put in peanut butter before to give it a bit of a ‘satay’ style), and whatever splash of alcohol you think might work well.
  9. Test the spiciness. If not spicy enough, add more chillies / jalapeños. If already too hot, add honey and / or natural yoghurt.
  10. Stir.
  11. Serve. I’ve found that it goes well with cheese on top, and humous and salad on the side.

This is a dinner that I regularly cook in bulk, freeze, and enjoy over a few days. If you aren’t convinced, you never will be. All I can say is that I’ve never had any complaints. Come Dine With Me, anyone?

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